February #AskLing: Side N*gga Situation

February: Side N*gga Situation
 
DEAR LING:
I been having the same “side-nigga” for about 7 years and now that I’m single (2 years now) he want to argue about what I do with other men but he still doesn’t want to be exclusive with me (since that’s how he became a side nigga in the first place) do I leave my side piece alone so I can play the field and be single in peace or do I try and see if we can take things to the next level now?
-Playa Patty
 
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Playa Patty,
Step into my office. First I’d like to congratulate you and your side nigga for making it this long – 7 years is long af. I’m curious what was missing in your relationship that the side nigga provided. Nevertheless, play the field. If he’s been a side nigga for 7 years he’ll continue to do so. His concerns about your commitment are valid; recognize that. It seems crazy (and it kinda is) to argue with a guy you’re not with exclusively, but I think after 7 years the dude should be able to express how he feels about you and receive validation.  After 7 years can you really leave him alone? If he says he doesn’t wanna be exclusive, he means it. Don’t think it’s a joke. Don’t think if you keep sending him selfies it’ll change his mind. He doesn’t trust you – and rightfully so. Only you can decide if taking the time to establish that trust will be worth it (i.e., result in a relationship). Until then, play the field. Figure out what you want. Figure out what you need.
Peace, Love & Lil Wayne,
Killa.
Send questions to AskLingg@gmail.com
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